Your Career In Space Piracy!

Do you enjoy working with technology? Have you always wanted a career that gives you opportunities for intergalactic travel? Is there a price on your head in thousands of backwater spaceports across the galaxy? Do you want to help people - with lasers? Would you like to have an adventurous and questionably legal job?

If your answer to any of the questions above was yes, then a career in the growing field of Space Piracy may be right for you!

NATURE OF THE WORK
Space Pirates, also known as intergalactic shipping relief agents, fly along established interplanetary trade routes harrowing spaceships carrying valuable cargo. Oftentimes, space pirates also accept shipping contracts for rare or specialized imported goods, which they usually hide in secret compartments on their battered but reliable space freighters. They use advanced communications equipment both to extort money from alien warlords and to broadcast their messages of peace and happiness far and wide. They may also engage in bounty hunting, mercenary work, or humanitarian assistance. Space pirates sometimes also perform accounting services, medical care, maintenance work, janitorial tasks, or intercosmic plunder. In addition, space pirates use really sweet lasers all the time.

WORKING CONDITIONS
Space piracy can be a stressful occupation. Space pirates are expected to perform well under various types of pressure, such as boarding by interstellar customs officials, being towed in the tractor beam of a Xarqathian battle cruiser, or imprisoned by Zenu, Evil Overlord of the Cosmic Legion of Doom. Space pirates are generally employed for long periods of time and do not conform to a traditional work schedule. Space piracy is considered a hazardous profession, due to hyperspace travel complications and the dangerous nature of raiding the cargo bays of intergalactic travelers. Although the chances of encountering mortal peril as a space pirate are somewhat higher than those of occupations like insurance sales and marketing, the monetary and personal benefits far outweigh the potential dangers of exile on a desolate planet or jettison into the cold unfeeling vastness of space. Space pirates live, eat, and sleep aboard their spacecraft, affording opportunities for leisure as well as work. Many space-piracy vessels are equipped with space saunas, putting greens, and board games. Of course, all space piracy vessels carry really sweet lasers.

TRAINING, QUALIFICATIONS, AND ADVANCEMENT
Space pirates often interact with members of many different cultures and planets, so strong personal skills and fluency in one or more languages is important, but not required. Space pirates who lack interpersonal relationship skills have the option of just shooting everybody they meet with their really sweet space lasers instead. It is generally considered essential to obtain a postsecondary degree to advance to the highest levels of space piracy, in such areas as physics, math, astronomy, computer science, or astro-accounting. However, some space pirates are able to experience significant career advancement through a steadfast commitment to ruthless and wanton plunder. Space pirates must also be able to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.

JOB OUTLOOK
Space pirates held fewer than 5 jobs in 2005. The current job market for space pirates is limited, as potential space-plunder is limited to raiding NASA science vessels to steal Tang and science experiments, and collection of space junk sold as scrap metal. However, the field of space piracy is expected to grow much faster than average. In fact, in 2006, space piracy may be among the fastest-growing careers worldwide! 2005 median space pirate income was estimated at 5 million Galacto-bucks, 432,000 Zarnaxian zingbats, or a cargo bay full of really sweet lasers.

Space piracy is exciting, rewarding, well-paying, and fun! See the galaxy! Become a space pirate today!