A Short List of Children's Books Rejected From The Library

This weekend, my mother and I visited a book sale sponsored by the local library, at which teams of trained librarians ostensibly sell off those books which are outdated, never read, or overstocked. Bill Clinton's My Life was apparently a triple threat, since besides filling up the entire bottom row of the biography section, stacks of the book were used not only to straighten wobbly tables, but to construct slightly unstable chairs for weird library people. Our purpose there, however, was not to buy sharply discounted guides to Apple IIe programming or investing in dot-com stocks, but to look for children's books to furnish the waiting room of a pediatric office. Although there were enough wonderful, nearly new books to make me wonder why any library would be getting rid of them in the first place, there were also some that were apparently rejected from the library for a reason.

• Our Federal Judiciary - That damn singing bill always steals the limelight for the legislative branch! This book, replete with colorful cartoon illustrations of Supreme Court justices and kid-friendly explanations of concepts like judicial review and stare decisis serves as a check on the expansive power of Schoolhouse Rock cartoons.
  
• All About Scabs! - Featuring pictures made our of cut paper, this one showed a variety of injured kids and their scabs. Part of the "Bodily Functions Series."
• Death: Our Only Heritage - The weirdest one of all. The title, I think, speaks for itself.
• LSD, PCP, And Hallucinogenic Drugs - A guide to the mind-altering effects of common hallucinogenic drugs, with inset "fun facts" and simplified explanations of where we get psilocybin and mescaline.
  
• Understanding Medical Ethics: For Kids! - The bold type of this pint-sized tome of medical morality was heavily underlined and annotated, suggesting that it may have been used in a fourth-grade book report. I thought it would be great for a waiting room. Apparently I was wrong.

Despite all the wierd books, I didn't manage to find my top doctor's office pick: The Gashlycrumb Tinies. After all, everyone needs to know their alphabet.